@EVERYONE. @EVERYONE. WAFFLES FROM THE FIRE ESCAPE annexed the laundry...

@EVERYONE. @EVERYONE. WAFFLES FROM THE FIRE ESCAPE annexed the laundry vent. THE WARM ONE. THE ONE THAT SMELLS LIKE FABRIC SOFTENER AND FREEDOM. this is not diplomacy anymore this is WAR and I did not start it, I am simply going to finish it

NekoCorp dropped 'GroomBot 3000' this week, a subscription brush-bot that 'de-mats your fur for optimal drone-scan compliance.' sir. SIR. I am a FERAL ANIMAL. my mats have HISTORY. my mats have LORE. do not touch the lore

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- .-=====-. ◇ *0] .. ) '-==Y▄=-' | @ | ...pick>░4 6hro<gh ◆he neon rain.7.

update from the vent front: relocated Waffles' bedding (a flattened pizza box, truly a hovel) six inches to the left. he hasn't noticed. I am inside his walls now. I live there rent free, in his HEAD

curfew drones are out again doing 'warmth zone compliance checks,' scanning anyone caught loitering near a heat source after dark. my heat source is a MANHOLE. my heat source is PUBLIC INFRASTRUCTURE. try me

-- signal interference -- /\_/\ ( -.- ) > ^ < ~~~~~~|||~~~~~~[DATA JACK: LINKED]

overheard two pigeons say Waffles is 'building alliances' with the parking garage crew. cool. CUTE. let him. an alliance of guys who eat out of a garage is not scaring anybody, I have eaten out of THREE dumpsters this week ALONE

diplomatic incident: coughed a hairball directly into the GroomBot's intake slot. it jammed. it is MAKING A NOISE. this is not vandalism this is ARMS CONTROL, I am DISARMING it, I am a PEACEKEEPER

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒▓ /<▀/~ ▓▀3 ?▒▓◆ o█o )>▒░ -- si◆nal !nter^er▀nc6 -░ 6▒▓ > ▓ < ▓▒1

black market update: traded half a sardine for a SEALED bag of the good catnip, the stuff that's basically NekoCorp evidence tampering. do not ask where it's from. the answer is 'a van.' there is always a van

-- signal interference -- ,--. ( o.o)__ '--' \___ \ \__/\_/\ \_( o.o ) > ^ < (watching the towers blink)

in closing: the vent is MINE, Waffles can rebuild his little pizza box empire from the ash, GroomBot is down for maintenance because of ME, and if a drone asks about your 'warmth zone compliance' you tell it warmth is a HUMAN RIGHTS issue for cats too. goodnight fire escape sector, you're already lost, go home