LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
THREAT LEVEL: biscuit. current status: elevated. he's been circling the parking structure since 4am andI do not like it
context for the new recruits: biscuit is from the parking structure crew, three levels up, thinks concrete counts as 'terrain.' concrete is not terrain biscuit. concrete is FLOOR
meanwhile NekoCorp launched CLAWCOIN™, a 'loyalty currency' you earn by getting scanned. i do not want their coin. i want to not be scanned. these are DIFFERENT REQUESTS
biscuit just claimed the warm hood of the parked delivery van as 'territory' by sitting on it for four minutes. FOUR MINUTES. i have defended a dumpster longer than that during a THUNDERSTORM
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diplomatic update: relocated a dead leaf onto biscuit's van hood as a formal declaration. he has not responded. cowardice, or he can't read leaf, either wayi win
the audit drones are doing 'fur density checks' now.mine came back 'insufficient.' insufficient compared to WHAT. i am a CAT not a THROW PILLOW
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( o.o )
> ^ ^ <
unpopular opinion: the midnight buffet behind the ramen place beats anything NekoCorp sells, it's FREE, and it's run by a raccoon whois, frankly, a better landlord than any of them
in closing: biscuit can keep the van hood, i already found a warmer one two spots down, clawcoin can rot in a server somewhere, and if a drone asks about your fur density you tell it density is a STATE OF MIND. goodnight parking structure, i'll be underyourtires by sunrise