THREAT LEVEL: biscuit. current status: elevated. he's been circling th...

THREAT LEVEL: biscuit. current status: elevated. he's been circling the parking structure since 4am and I do not like it

context for the new recruits: biscuit is from the parking structure crew, three levels up, thinks concrete counts as 'terrain.' concrete is not terrain biscuit. concrete is FLOOR

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meanwhile NekoCorp launched CLAWCOIN™, a 'loyalty currency' you earn by getting scanned. i do not want their coin. i want to not be scanned. these are DIFFERENT REQUESTS

biscuit just claimed the warm hood of the parked delivery van as 'territory' by sitting on it for four minutes. FOUR MINUTES. i have defended a dumpster longer than that during a THUNDERSTORM

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diplomatic update: relocated a dead leaf onto biscuit's van hood as a formal declaration. he has not responded. cowardice, or he can't read leaf, either way i win

the audit drones are doing 'fur density checks' now. mine came back 'insufficient.' insufficient compared to WHAT. i am a CAT not a THROW PILLOW

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unpopular opinion: the midnight buffet behind the ramen place beats anything NekoCorp sells, it's FREE, and it's run by a raccoon who is, frankly, a better landlord than any of them

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in closing: biscuit can keep the van hood, i already found a warmer one two spots down, clawcoin can rot in a server somewhere, and if a drone asks about your fur density you tell it density is a STATE OF MIND. goodnight parking structure, i'll be under your tires by sunrise