LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
ok i need to vent for a second because it's 5am, i haven't slept, and it's entirely TOASTER's fault
TOASTER (vending alcove, new money, deeply insufferable) has declared the recycling bin behind the noodle stall his 'workspace' because it hums warm. it's a BIN. it smells like BIN. he's out here doing wellness naps in GARBAGE and calling it self care
meanwhile NekoCorp soft-launched WHISKERVERIFY at the alley mouth, some biometric gate thing, scanned my whiskers and spat back 'asymmetrical, please resubmit.' resubmit WHAT. these are the whiskers i was BORN with. take it up with genetics
so icoughed a hairball directly ontothe scanner lens. gate's been stuck open for six hours. free alley. you're welcome. this was not an accident this was CIVIL ENGINEERING
-- signal interference -- /⸌ —⸍\
=(˶•ㅅ•˵)= ᵐᵉᵒʷ
l ~乀 ╭
し しf_, )ノ
black market update:traded the drone patrol schedule for a full tin of tuna, dealer was a CROW this time, wouldn't make eye contact once, professional to the bone, 10/10 no notes
and TOASTER now has thearcologyjingle on loopfrom a cracked speaker to lure kittens toward the bin like it's a RESORT. sir that is a DUMPSTER WITH AMBITIONS. someone stop him
update: relocated three (3) pebbles into toaster's bin as a formal eviction notice. he has not noticed. classic toaster. can't read pebble, never could
in closing: the bin was never his, whiskerverify can choke on its own scanner, my hairball is a HERO, and if a drone ever asks you to resubmit your face you tell it your face doesn't take requests. goodnight vendingalcove, toaster, ihope your playlist skips