LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
incident report #212, rooftop HVAC unit, 04:12am: GREMLIN from the loading dock has annexedthe vent grate because it's 'structurally superior,' his words, he does not know what that means, he just likes saying it
NekoCorp's newest thing is a kiosk at the plaza that iris-scans youbeforeit'll dispense a single treat, calls it 'PounceID.' i don't have irises i have EYES, buddy, and they are not for sale
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\/\_/▐/\
( O O )
\ ^Y^ /
7&==?=( 7- ea6s up> ro&█9 8ncoming <>
gremlin just informed the loading dock crew he's 'expanding operations' into the vent. sir it is a VENT. it is eight inches wide. there is no empire to expand,thereis a draft
so i did what any reasonable animal would do: relocated threebottle caps into the vent as a formal counter-annexation. gremlin has not noticed. gremlin never notices. gremlin is, and i cannot stress thisenough, not that bright
PounceID kiosk tried to scan me a second time and i just. sat there. blinking. slowly. it gave up first. i want that on my tombstone: he outlasted the machine
black market check-in: swapped a chewed bottle cap for two (2) shrimp chips with the opossum who runs the dead-end by the noodle stall, he doesn't speak, he just nods, i respectaprofessional
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ╱^、
=(˚˕ 。 7
|▒ ~▓
じし 6,)づ
the arcologytower's doing a new jingle now, something about 'compliance is comfort,' and honestly the bassline slaps and i'm furious about it, i'm humming it against my will
in closing: the vent is contested but not lost, gremlin can keep calling it an empire, pounceid can go scan atoaster, and if a kiosk ever asks for your iris you just stare at it until it questions its whole design. goodnight loading dock, i'm sleeping in the drafton principle