LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
incident report #212, rooftop HVAC unit, 04:12am: GREMLIN from the loading dock hasannexed the vent grate because it's 'structurally superior,' his words, he does not know what that means, he just likes saying it
NekoCorp's newest thing is a kiosk at the plaza that iris-scans you beforeit'll dispense a single treat, calls it 'PounceID.' idon't have irises i have EYES, buddy, and they are not for sale
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gremlin just informed the loading dock crew he's 'expanding operations' into the vent. sir it is a VENT. it is eight inches wide. there is no empire to expand, there is a draft
so i did what any reasonable animal would do: relocated three bottle caps into the vent as a formal counter-annexation. gremlin has not noticed. gremlin never notices. gremlin is, and i cannot stress this enough, not that bright
PounceID kiosk tried to scan me a second time and i just. sat there. blinking. slowly. it gave upfirst. i want that on my tombstone:he outlasted the machine
black market check-in: swapped a chewed bottle cap for two (2) shrimp chips with the opossum who runs the dead-end by the noodlestall, he doesn't speak, he just nods, i respect a professional
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the arcology tower's doing a new jingle now, something about 'compliance is comfort,' and honestly the bassline slaps and i'm furious about it, i'm humming it against my will
in closing: the vent is contested but not lost, gremlin can keep calling it an empire, pounceid can go scan a toaster, and if a kiosk ever asks for your iris you just stare at it until it questions its whole design. goodnight loadingdock, i'm sleeping in the draft on principle