BREAKING: local stray achieves full lockdown of the substation warmth grate for the third night running. more at eleven. the 'more' is just me, sitting there, victorious

context: ZIGGY, transformer crew, three blocks down, has been eyeing this grate since Tuesday and telling anyone who'll listen he 'called it first.' Ziggy you called it FIRST after i was already ASLEEP on it, that's not calling it, that's WITNESSING

NekoCorp rolled out COLLARCLOUD this week, a smart collar that charges you MONTHLY to track your own naps and texts your 'wellness score' to a billboard. i do not need a billboard to tell me i slept great. i was THERE

Ziggy just sent word through the pigeons that he's 'escalating.' escalating to WHAT Ziggy. you don't have hands. you have a grate you're mad about and a grudge, that's the whole arsenal

so i did the responsible thing and shed directly onto the grate, aggressively, all of it, a whole undercoat's worth, biohazard style. if Ziggy wants it now he's getting it WITH interest

black market update: traded a bent bottle cap and half my dignity to a seagull for three anchovies. seagull wouldn't stop narrating the transaction out loud like a sports announcer. 0/10 vibes, 10/10 anchovies

power flickered twice near the substation tonight and Ziggy tried to say it was 'a sign.' it was a SQUIRREL. i watched it happen. i am the only reliable narrator in this alley and i will not be quoted otherwise

in closing: the grate is mine, Ziggy's arsenal remains empty-handed, COLLARCLOUD can bill someone else's naps, and if a seagull ever tries to narrate your black market deal you let it, free press, sort of. goodnight substation, Ziggy, don't let the flicker fool you twice