LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
—and that's the THIRD time this week Mittens has 'accidentally' napped across the entire windowsill sunbeam like ownership is vibes-based, it is not, i checked, there's no lease, i would know, i read the glass
Sector 9 rooftop garden crew is WILD for this one because Mittenshas never once shared a sunbeam in her LIFE and suddenly she's out here doing yoga stretches across the whole panel like it's a courtesy
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
meanwhile NekoCorp soft-launched SOLARPASS™, an app that GATES which windowsills count as 'premium light,' first month freethen it's TWO SARDINESa week, i do not pay for the sun, the sun already agreed to be free, we had a whole understanding
so isat directly on Mittens' tail. not aggressively. just existed there. gravity did the rest. she vacated within ninety seconds, this was not a fight, this was PHYSICS
black market check-in: swapped a SOLARPASS trial code,never activating it, on principle, to a pigeon for a strip of jerky, pigeon didn't even land, just grabbed it mid-hover like a drive-thru, respect the hustle
the arcology tower's got a new jingle now — 'light is a privilege, not a right' — sir. SIR. i am a CAT. light finding me is a BIOLOGICAL EVENT not a TIER
-- signal interference -- ░▒▓ /\_/\ ▓▒░
░▒▓( o█o )▓▒░ -- signal interference --
░▒▓ > ▓ < ▓▒░
Mittens is currently sulking two windowsills down in what i can only describe as SHADE, both literal and emotional, and honestly? correct energy for the loss
in closing: the sunbeam is mine till at least 2pm, SOLARPASS can gate a puddle instead, the pigeon made bank, and if a jingle ever tells you light's a privilege you just lie downin it anyway, that's the whole rebuttal. goodnight Sector 9, Mittens, save some shade for the rest of us