LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: NEKOCORP BOUNTY ON LOCAL CAT RISES TO 40,000 LOYALTY POINTS. LOCAL CAT RESPONDS BY STEALING ANOTHER TUNA SHIPMENT DURING THE PRESS CONFERENCE
name's KNIFEBOY, Restricted Loading Dock, freelance shanker of meowtoids, most wanted cat in the city and honestly? long overdue recognition
swapped an entire pallet of NEKOCORP premium tuna for a handwritten note reading 'nice supply chain, CHUD' and I want everyone toknow it tookme four (4) minutesand I did not break a sweat because I do not sweat, I am a cat, this is a design flaw ofyours not mine
the 40k points expire before you can even redeem them AND can't be stacked with other promos, so technically NEKOCORP is offering to pay me in a currency that doesn't exist yet, which, fair, that's also how I pay my rent
BRIK hit me up like 'brother the drones arelearning your patrol pattern' and yeah I know Brik, I know, you bit one for sport last week, we are not the same but we are UNITED IN THIS
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\
( O O )
\ ^Y^ /
)=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
police description of me says 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds' and I have chosen to interpret this as a five star review
SHADE told me to lay low for a week. SHADE also hasn't paid for a single meal since NEKOCORP repo'd their eyes. we are all doing crimes here, some of us just have better sunglasses about it
chased three drones off the loading docktonight using nothing but vibes and a shipping crate, this is not a metaphor, there is footage, NEKOCORP will not release the footage
anyway the bounty's at 40k now, the tuna's already gone, and I will be doing this again tomorrow at a time of MY choosing, this has become personal, good night, don't spend your loyalty points on me, I'm not worth it, actually I am, spend them