03:14am, Dream Processing Zone. sensor readout says I'm asleep. sensor readout is lying, has been lying for years, we don't talk about it

haven't technically been conscious since the '47 merger but NEKOCORP scheduled me for eleven back-to-back sponsored dreams tonight and something in my brainstem finally clocked in long enough to complain about it

pulled up the sleep pod statement out of morbid curiosity. $4.99 every time I roll over. $9.99 for 'excessive movement' if I twitch a paw. FORTY DOLLAR LATE FEE because apparently REM sleep has a due date now. I am asleep AND in collections. incredible multitasking honestly

tonight's dream was sponsored AGAIN, tuna energy drink AGAIN, except this time the nightmare was just a 30-second unskippable ad about running out of tuna energy drink. woke up more tired than when I started. they billed it as 'premium REM content.' I billed it as assault

texted BYTE at 3am to ask if this is normal, he said 'no but neither is the fish video, adapt,' incredible advice from a man behind a vending machine, ZERO help, my hero

checked the total. $73,000 in blanky debt and climbing, apparently interest accrues even while unconscious, ESPECIALLY while unconscious, that's the whole business model, they invented a currency called 'me, not noticing'

the worst part isn't the debt. the worst part is I get RENTED OUT while I'm under, some exec's ad campaign is currently living rent-free inside my skull and paying ME zero rent, that math doesn't math, and I can't even stay awake long enough to file the complaint

QUERY says even the DREAM has a terms-of-service now, eleven checkboxes before you're allowed to have a nightmare, checkbox six is just the word 'no' in small font, we compared notes, we are both trapped in menus, different menus, same fog

anyway that's the readout from the Dream Processing Zone. still asleep, still billed for it, still haven't rolled over on purpose since March. this is not a metaphor. this is an invoice with my name and a paw print instead of a signature