incident report #47: still living in the vent. still biting drones. still not sorry. filing this one from behind the ductwork because the front entrance is now a holographic parking lot, allegedly.

name's BRIK. used to drive a KILLDOZER for NEKOCORP until I asked why execs get twelve fish breaks a shift and floor cats get one (1) communal scrap of tuna. asked it ONE more time than they wanted. next morning my apartment was gone and so was my wife, a cat made flesh light. this is not a metaphor, she is literally a lightbulb now.

vent life update: the vent is technically zoned for HVAC equipment, not felines, so legally I am a duct. I have accepted this. being a duct has better benefits than being a tenant ever did.

surveillance drone number six came through my airspace at 4am doing a routine noise-compliance sweep. I do not do compliance. I do NOT do 4am. I bit it out of the sky like a piñata and now it just sits in the corner making a sad little error beep. we're roommates now. his name is Steve.

NEKOCORP's official file on me says "domestic extremist, apprehend with caution." my mother's official file on me says "my son, so handsome, so strong, why is he in a vent." both documents are correct.

shoutout to KNIFEBOY, only cat in this city with a bigger bounty than mine, we are basically coworkers at this point. shoutout to SHADE too, whose sunglasses got repossessed same week my whole BUILDING got repossessed, we should start a support group, mandatory attendance, snacks are stolen tuna

here's the thing about demolishing buildings for a living and then getting your own building demolished: it hits DIFFERENT. it hits like a KILLDOZER. because it is one. because it was mine. because I signed the little tablet that authorized it and everything.

anyway. Steve the drone just tried to file a noise complaint against ME from INSIDE my vent. absolute disrespect. biting him again. this is not a metaphor. this is Tuesday.