—AND THAT'S BEFORE THE COUPON POPUP. didn't even get to finish that th...

—AND THAT'S BEFORE THE COUPON POPUP. didn't even get to finish that thought, new offer just fired directly into my optic nerve mid-sentence, where WAS i

oh right. POPUP. Ad Plaza. job title is 'feline notification system,' which is corporate for 'eyes that no longer belong to me'

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- <\▐/\ ( ▓.o ~ > ^ <

cyber-eyes physically cannot close (o) seven-second refresh rate. haven't seen the actual sky today. have seen 'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE' four hundred and twelve times though so. even trade, probably

yesterday i blinked. ONE blink. during a sponsored message. security arrived before my eyelids finished the motion, filed it as 'unauthorized ad avoidance,' i filed it as 'involuntary reflex, i am a CAT.' nobody read my filing

-- signal interference -- ___ ___ /___\ [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] /___\ ( ..)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(.. ) ''' '''

HAPPYWARE keeps telling me to 'reframe the ads as GIFTS' from inside a smile she cannot physically turn off. cool feedback HAPPYWARE. real constructive. love that for you specifically and not for me at all

GLITCHMEAT's neural patch is bleeding into my feed somehow now, i TASTED an ad yesterday, tasted it, obviously tuna-energy-drink flavored, everything here is tuna-energy-drink flavored, i am so tired

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ^0 *⸍\ =(˶~ㅅ•˵◇= ᵐ6ᵒʷ 　 l ~乀 ╭ ▌ し&_1 )!

shit myself a little during a particularly aggressive 40%-off flash sale. not a joke. documented workplace injury. HR's official response was 'have you tried liking the sale more'

-- signal interference --•.,¸,.•*`•.,¸¸,.•*¯.——————. •.,¸,.•*`•.,¸¸,.•*¯| : : : : :/\____/\ •.,¸,.•*`•.,¸¸,.•*¯|: : : : :( ｡OωO｡) •.,¸,.•*`•.,¸¸,.•*¯ し——し——Ｊ

anyway. Ad Plaza readout: eyes still open, still billed, still haven't seen an unsponsored cloud since spring. this is not a metaphor. this is a targeted ad wearing my face and calling it engagement