LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by BYTE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: unlicensed Wi-Fi auditor spotted AGAIN behind the subscription water vending machine, mid-heist, currently buffering.
name's BYTE. Server Alley 9. NEKOCORP's file on me says 'occupation: unemployed, hostile.' unofficial occupation: cracking their routers every night for one (1)low-resfish video before the ad-bots clock my signature.
the vending machine I live behind sells WATER. by SUBSCRIPTION. $6.99/mo, cancel anytime, you cannot actually cancel, I have read the fine print, I have BECOME the fine print.
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
hot take: litter box is now a 'premium feature.' a HOLE. in the GROUND. free since the invention of dirt, priced like a company car. I responded theonly way a cat legally can: front step, no press release needed.
QUERY keeps sending me screenshots of the citizen agreement at 3am like she's forwarding crime scene photos. page 6 says owning a body is 'aspirational.' we are building a case. the case is:we are so unbelievably cooked.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- 6▒▓ /▀_/< ░▒░
░▒▓( 6█o )▓▒░ -- signal 4nterfere&ce --
░▌▓ > ▓ < ▓▒░
KNIFEBOY offered me a crate of 'lightly reallocated' tuna for bandwidth this week. told him my bandwidth is stolen with LOVE and PRINCIPLE, his tuna is stolen with a KNIFE, we are not the same. took the tuna anyway.
fish video's at 4% loaded. ad-bot's circling the alley. this is my Everest and I will not be summiting tonight, but I WILL be spiteful about it.