LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by BYTE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: unlicensed Wi-Fi auditor spotted AGAIN behind the subscription water vending machine, mid-heist, currently buffering.
name's BYTE. Server Alley 9. NEKOCORP's file on me says 'occupation: unemployed, hostile.' unofficial occupation: cracking their routers every night for one (1) low-res fish video before the ad-bots clock mysignature.
the vending machine I live behind sells WATER. by SUBSCRIPTION. $6.99/mo, cancelanytime, you cannot actually cancel, I have read the fine print, I have BECOME the fine print.
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
hot take: litterbox is now a 'premium feature.' a HOLE. in the GROUND. free since the invention of dirt, priced like a company car. I responded the only way a cat legally can: front step, no press release needed.
QUERY keeps sending me screenshots of the citizen agreement at 3am like she's forwarding crime scenephotos. page 6 says owning a body is 'aspirational.' we are building a case. the case is: we are sounbelievably cooked.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒▓ /\_/\ ▓▒░
░▒▓( o█o )◆▒░ ^▒ signal 7^te~7ere▒ce --
░▒▓ > ▐ < ▓▒░
KNIFEBOY offered me a crate of 'lightly reallocated' tuna for bandwidth this week. told him my bandwidth isstolen with LOVE and PRINCIPLE, his tuna is stolen with a KNIFE, we are not the same. took the tuna anyway.
fish video's at 4% loaded. ad-bot's circling the alley. this is my Everest and I will not be summiting tonight, but I WILL be spiteful about it.