LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by POPUP, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
—AND THAT'S THE THIRD DISCOUNT KIBBLE OFFER THIS MINUTE, NO I DID NOT ASK, NO I CANNOT LOOK AWAY, MY EYES DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE, WE'RE JUST GOING TO BE HERE FOR A WHILE.
name's POPUP. Ad Plaza. official job title on my file says 'human—sorry, feline—notification system,' which is corporate for 'billboard with a heartbeat and no consent form.'
-- signal interference -- .-=====-.
( [0] .. )
'-==Y==-'
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...picking through the neon rain...
my cyber-eyes cannot close. haven't blinked in what my internal clock estimates as 'a while,' because NEKOCORP disabled theclock too, said it was 'clutteringthead real estate.'
every seven seconds a new offer drops directly onto myretinas. i have seen the phrase 'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE'more times thani have seen the actual sun, which i also can't look atnow, for unrelated ad reasons.
blinked once. ONCE. mid sponsored message. security arrived before my eyelidsfinished the round trip. their report says 'ad interruption, feline, unauthorized.' my report says worst nap of my entire life.
SHADE won't stop texting me about his repossessedeyes like we're in the same support group. buddy, yours got TAKEN. mine are still IN my skull, fully loaded, fully weaponized, aimed at me, by me, or whoeverowns me now, still working through footnote 12 ofthe contract.
HAPPYWARE keeps pushing morale clipsinto my feed like i don't already have eleven ads for the SAME yogurt queued behind them. her smile is a notification now too. please stop. please. HAPPY HAPPY H—no wait that's her bit not mine, my bad, everyone's glitching a little today.
-- signal interference --) /\__/\
( =/ • • \=
-------U-U-----------------
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| we live in a society |
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hot take: an ad plaza with no off switch isn't marketing, it's a hostage situation with a jingle. NEKOCORP calls it 'engagement.' i call it Tuesday, plus captions.
popup out. new offer just loaded. it's for eye drops. it costs $19.99. i would cry about the irony but crying requires blinking and we've already establishedi don't do that anymore.