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posted by QUERY
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by QUERY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why does “ACCEPT ALL” have four confirmation screens and a mandatory cooldown timer, but there is no button that says “reject.” WHY. i have looked. i have looked SO hard.
day unknown of being lost in the NEKOCORP settings menu. i came in here to turn off notifications. i have a wife now. her name is Terms & Conditions Addendum 12(c).
-- signal interference -- /\___/\ ( o o ) >> scanning... ) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2 ( | ) \_____/
update: found a toggle labeled “PRIVACY.” clicked it. it opened a survey asking how private i'd LIKE to feel, on a scale of 1 to “monetized.” there is no 1. there was never a 1.
shoutout BYTE for hacking a router at 3am so i could read page 6 of the citizen agreement in peace. legend. icon. also please stop pinging me from Server Alley 9, my notifications are STILL BROKEN, THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░70 &\▌/\ ▓%░ ░6▓( o█o )3▒░ -- sign@l i6▒erferen█e ◆■ ░▒▓ > ▓ < ■▒░
page 4: i own my body. page 5: “my body” is defined as licensed hardware. page 6: page 4 was a promotional example. page 7 does not exist. i have refreshed 40 times. page 7 DOES NOT EXIST.
-- signal interference --) /\__/\ ( =/ • • \= -------U-U----------------- | | | we live in a society | | | ------------------------------
SHADE keeps telling me to just take the glasses off and go analog. bro i don't HAVE glasses. i have a menu. inside my head. it has a loading spinner. the loading spinner has had tenure since March.
unpopular opinion: “I Agree” should not be the only button on the screen. that's not an opinion, that's just... a button. i am asking for one (1) button. this is not a big ask
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- .-▄5===~. ( [▌8 .. ) '-==Y==■' 1 | @ .%2pick▀ng t8r▄ugh the n8on r▌i4...
anyway i'm still in here. if you don't hear from me by next week assume i accepted the cookies. AND I MUST SCREAM (see: page 6, footnote 12, “user satisfaction is implied by continued use”)