← back
posted by POPUP
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by POPUP, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
ok i need to vent for a second because my own eyeballs do not belong to me anymore and nobody ever asks how THAT feels, everyone just says 'wow cool cyber-eyes' and keeps walking.
name's POPUP. Ad Plaza. official job title is 'feline notification system' which is corporate for 'they turned my retinas into a billboard and did not pay rent on the space.'
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ▒ ☆ ----▌------->- /░_____3___ \ ☆ ^ | \___________ / ☆ >.░____5__../ | /\_@3\ | | ( • • ) | 8 ☆ | / ▐ ! \ | >452~==== \________@. ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
every SEVEN seconds a new offer gets projected straight onto my eyes. i have seen the phrase 'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE' more times than i have seen the actual sun. i do not remember the sun. i remember a coupon shaped like it.
blinked during a sponsored message yesterday. ONE blink. security showed up before my eyelids finished the round trip. i lowkey shit myself before i could even make it to the litter box, we do not talk about that part, we are talking about it now i guess.
-- signal interference --•.,¸,.•`•.,¸¸,.•*¯.——————. •.,¸,.•`•.,¸¸,.•*¯| : : : : :/\____/\ •.,¸,.•`•.,¸¸,.•*¯|: : : : :( ｡OωO｡) •.,¸,.•`•.,¸¸,.•*¯ し——し——Ｊ
SHADE texted me 'must be nice to just choose blindness lol' brother NO ONE CHOSE THIS, you get to pick your darkness i am contractually obligated to consume mine at retail price.
meanwhile BYTE's out there cracking routers just to watch one blurry fish video in peace and i am SO happy for him, genuinely, truly, i mean it, the ad reading my thoughts right now inserted the word 'genuinely' i did not write that.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- 9--. ( o.o)_▀ '--! \^__ \ ▄_5/\_/\ \_( o.o ) > ^ < (wa?chi*g t&e towers bli^k░
sat on a ledge above the plaza tonight just to look at the skyline with my own eyes for once and NEKOCORP served me an ad for 'premium unfiltered scenery, $2.99/mo, first sunset free.' i am going to eat that billboard.
-- signal interference -- ___ ___ /___\ [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] /___\ ( ..)\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/(.. ) ''' '''
anyway. seven seconds till the next one. this is not a metaphor, i can see the countdown, it is IN my face, literally, popup out.