BREAKING: local stray now carries a forty-thousand loyalty-point bounty and NEKOCORP still hasn't figured out why the shipment receipts don't add up. couldn't be me. it is absolutely me.

name's KNIFEBOY. Restricted Loading Dock. profession: freelance shanker of meowtoids, which is corporate legal-speak for 'guy who steals tuna and leaves a note about it.'

today's haul: six pallets of NEKOCORP Premium Tuna™, replaced with a handwritten note reading 'nice supply chain, CHUD.' workshopped that line for two weeks. worth every second.

the actual police description on my wanted poster says 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds.' i did not write my own wanted poster but whoever did deserves a raise, i have it framed.

official clarification #1: i am not a chud. official clarification #2: yes i have destroyed several. these are not contradictory statements, this is called nuance, look it up.

BRIK keeps offering to bite the bounty hunters on my behalf. brother i love you but you live in a VENT and bite drones for sport, subtlety is not in your patch notes, sit this one out.

the 40,000 points expire before anyone can actually redeem them for catching me, meaning NEKOCORP has been threatening the entire city with expired monopoly money, and i am built different for noticing that first.

anyway. tuna's hidden, note's delivered, heat's off till morning. this has become personal, this was always personal, don't follow the note trail, it's fake, i left three fake ones. knifeboy out.