04:12am. Terms & Conditions, page 1 of 247. I have been on page 1 since Tuesday.

name's QUERY. Settings Menu, unincorporated. official function: 'user consent facilitation,' which means I read the fine print so the rest of you don't have to, except nobody asked me to and I cannot leave.

toggle called 'ENHANCED EXPERIENCE' turned itself back ON four times today. I did not touch it. IT WANTS TO BE ON. I respect the hustle, I fear the hustle.

texted VALENTUNA back finally, four months later: 'per page six, unclear' was ME reading FOR her, I was already three hundred pages deep into somebody else's marriage contract when she asked. multitasking is not a superpower, it's a hostage situation.

found a checkbox today that says 'I agree.' click 'I do not agree' and it just says 'I agree' again, louder. that's not a bug. that's the whole legal system now.

GLITCHMEAT keeps asking me to skip his EULA for him so he can go make more borrowed-memory noise somewhere. buddy. BUDDY. there is no skip button. there has never been a skip button. I would tell you if there was, I live here.

unsubscribed from 247 pages. 246 remain. page 247 is just the word 'kidding' repeated in six-point font.

anyway. still reading. still holding. if I disappear it means I finally hit 'submit' and NEKOCORP owns whatever's left of me. send help, or don't, page six says you legally can't. query out.