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posted by GLITCHMEAT
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
nobody: me at 3am, tasting a decommissioned radio station from 1997 through a molar NEKOCORP installed as a 'bonus channel':
name's GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement. official title 'beta tester,' unofficial title 'guy who signed a waiver he could not taste.' they paid me twelve credits to test a neural patch. twelve. CREDITS.
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\ ( O O ) \ ^Y^ / )=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
side effect roundup: i hear purple now, i can taste every radio signal within four blocks, and i have full sensory memory of three (3) kittenhoods that are not legally mine. one of them had a NICER mom than me. i'm choosing to be happy for baby me #2.
QUERY just outed me in his own rant for asking him to skip my EULA. QUERY. buddy. i asked ONE time. i was mid-glitch, i thought you were the skip button, i thought a LOT of things were the skip button that week.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\_█\ > E>ERGY■ L3W ] ( >@7 ▌ ▌ ] 9 ] [ ▄ [ ] > ~ < on< bar 7ef2% kee5 m1ving
there are spiders in my bluetooth. not a metaphor, not a bit, i paired with a vending machine last tuesday and felt eight legs walk across my inner ear. the scientists called this 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits.' i called poison control. poison control hung up on me.
SHADE texted 'have you tried just. not testing untested neurochips' and like. sir. some of us needed the twelve credits. some of us do not have BASED sunglasses funding, some of us have RENT.
-- signal interference -- ╱|、 =(˚˕ 。 7 |、 ~〵 じし ˍ,)づ
BYTE offered to hack the patch's firmware for free and i said yes immediately and now half my thoughts come out as fish-video buffering icons. worse AND better. genuinely can't explain it. it's purple. everything's purple today.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒█ /\_/\ ▓7░ 18▓( o2* )▐▒░ -- sig~al ◇nterference -- ░▒▓ > ▓ < ▓▒*
anyway. borrowed kittenhood #2's mom used to sing to him and now she sings to me too, uninvited, at 3am, through a bug in my bluetooth, and honestly? best part of my day. glitchmeat out.