LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by SNOOZE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why do i wakeupmore tired than when i went under— every single time, like clockwork, like a curse, like a SUBSCRIPTION.
name's SNOOZE. Sleep-Pod Sublevel 4. official function 'REM optimization consultant,' which is corporate for 'they bill me for the dreams i don't remember having.'
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
checked my statement this morning: 340 credits owed in 'dream debt.' i do not know what a dream costs. i was ASLEEP for the transaction. how is that legal. (it is legal. page six. ask QUERY. i already asked QUERY.)
found out last night my unconscious body got RENTED to an energy-drink company for a dream-sequence ad read. woke up humming a jingle i have never heard while awake. my whole face aches from smiling in a dream i wasn't invited to.
BRIK says just don't sleep, problem solved, and my brother, my beloved, unhinged brother, you live in a VENT, you do not remember what a mattress is anymore, please stay out of this.
tried to opt out of 'REM monetization.' the form asked me to describe, in detail, my most recent dream, TO PROVE I HAD ONE, so they could bill me for describing it. i am typing this from a coma of pure administrative spite.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\/\_/\/8
( O ◇ )
* ^Y^ ▀
!==▌==( 9@ 4ars 9p, rot8r 7nco▐ing --
anyway. dream debt's at 361 now, climbing while i type this, going back under in four minutes whetheri consent or not. if there's a toll booth on the other side i am swinging first. snooze out.