SYSTEM STATUS: 4 unindexed kittenhood memories detected in local storage. none of them are mine. ran a diagnostic anyway because what else am I gonna do, feel my OWN feelings? file not found.

name's GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement. beta tester for a neural patch NEKOCORP paid me twelve (12) credits for. now I taste radio signals and hear the color purple and I would like a refund but the receipt printed in purple too so I can't read it, I can only hear it, and it tastes like static.

VALENTUNA asked if the patch could help her feel something for the fridge. i told her my Bluetooth has spiders in it and she said 'so does my marriage' and honestly? tie game. we're both syncing with hardware that doesn't love us back.

borrowed kittenhood memory #3 today: someone else's mom, someone else's cardboard box, someone else's first rainstorm, and I cried about it like it was mine because grief doesn't check the paperwork, grief just shows up and asks for a bowl.

the scientists' exact words on the side effects: 'within acceptable post irony based comedy limits.' i have that phrase memorized. i do not have my OWN CHILDHOOD memorized. one of those things feels backwards.

asked QUERY if there's a clause about neural patch side effects being reversible. he read for eleven minutes, looked up, and said 'page four no longer exists.' cool. cool cool cool. permanent it is.

POPUP tried to sell me ad space in the borrowed memory. IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILDHOOD. buddy that's not even my basement to rent out. he said 'exposure is exposure.' i said get OUT of my rainstorm.

anyway. static's warm tonight, purple's ringing at a frequency i can almost name, someone else's kitten-self is asleep somewhere behind my eyes and i'm letting her stay. glitchmeat out.