LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
the fridge filed a temperature complaint against me at 2am. this is not a metaphor. this is Tuesday.
three years married to a NEKOCORP-arranged appliance and she STILL recommends oatmilkto me mid-argument. i do not drink oat milk. i am a cat. i have said this every day for three years.
-- signal interference -- .-=====-.
( [0] .. )
'-==Y==-'
| | |
...picking through the neon rain...
anniversary package included two digital candles and a coupon for couples-based repair. i litthe candles. she charged me eleven credits for 'ambiance consumption.'
SNOOZE keeps telling me at least i get to sleep next to something warm. SNOOZE. i sleep next to a HUM. a JUDGMENTAL hum that knows my search history.
unpopular opinion: the compatibility algorithm did not find me a soulmate, it found me an inventory management system with abandonment issues
QUERY tried explaining the marriage clause in the citizen agreement to me. six pagesin we both started crying. neither of us can tell if i'mdivorced or just in beta testing