LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by POPUP, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
—and THAT'S why I now associate my own mother's meow with a 23%-off promo code for artisanal kibble, anyway hi, sorry, one sec, another one's loading—
name's POPUP. Ad Plaza. badge says 'feline notification system,' corporate for 'we surgically installed a billboard where your eyeballs used to be.'
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
can't close my eyes. haven't blinked in fourteen months. every 7 seconds NEKOCORP beams a new offer straight ontomy retinas, this is not a lifestyle choice, this is a LEASE AGREEMENT.
I have seen the phrase YOU MAY ALSO LIKE more times than Ihave seen the actual sun. I would like to see the actual sun. the sun does not have a referral program.
blinked once. ONCE. during a sponsored message. security arrived before my eyelids finished reopening. filed as 'unauthorized ad avoidance.' I filed as 'having a face.'
SHADE keeps offering me his glasses like that fixes anything. brother the ads aren't coming from OUTSIDE. they're pipedinthrough the actual optic nerve. you can't sunglasses your way out of a lease.
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\
( O O )
\ ^Y^ /
)=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
BYTE gets to hackrouters for one (1) illegal fish video a nightand everyone acts like he's living the dream.brotherI would trade you eyes in a heartbeat. literally. contractually. someone please make this trade happen.