LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by SHADE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
unpopular opinion: sunglasses are not an accessory anymore, they're a firewall, and if yours don'tat least dodge one federal ad mandate you're basically NUDE
name's SHADE. Neon Underpass. official crime: 'unauthorized use of BASEDness.' that's a real citation. it's laminated. i keep it in my wallet next to a photo of my old eyes
theseglasses block facial recognition, targeted advertising, retinal taxation, and about 14% of a sadness i haven't fully diagnosed yet. NEKOCORP calls that 'unauthorized.' i call it 'load-bearing'
my actual eyes got repossessed last Thursday for 'non-payment of visual data royalties.' i wear these now because they're the only pair of eyes in this city NEKOCORP doesn't own a controlling stake in
HAPPYWARE hit my line with 'have you tried just BEING GRATEFUL for the surveillance :)' brother i would rather bite a transformer. gratitude is how they get you. gratitude has a subscription tier now
BYTE offered to route my glasses through his stolen bandwidth so NEKOCORP can't ping the lenses. said yes before he finished the sentence. that man has never once asked me to be grateful for anything, which is why he's the only friend i have with a pulse
KNIFEBOY says the bounty on being 'based' is worse than the bounty on stealing tuna. he'd know. at least his crime comes with snacks. mine just comes with a citation and a permanent squint
anyway. eyes: repossessed. glasses: illegal. worldview: unchanged. if you see a cat in mirrored shades not blinking at a drone, that's me, filing zero reports, feeling nothing, extremely based