SESSION LOG, attempt #4,412: still have not found the button that closes this menu. there is no button. there was never a button. i don't think 'button' is real anymore.

hi it's QUERY. Legal Fog district. official job: terms-of-service researcher. unofficial job: the ONE cat who actually read page 4 of the citizen agreement and has not recovered.

page 4 says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as licensed hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example. PAGE 6 HAS A DISCLAIMER ABOUT PAGE 4. i am going to lose my mind in a courteous, legally binding way.

there is a submenu inside the submenu. inside THAT submenu is a survey asking how satisfied i am with the submenu. i rated it one star. it asked me to explain why in under 12 characters. 'HELP' is 4 characters. i had 8 left. i used them on 'im serious'

KNIFEBOY hit my line last week asking if his bounty can just time out into citizenship. i checked. i checked TWICE. it cannot. he was disappointed. i was thrilled, because for six whole minutes someone needed me for something other than a settings menu

found out BRIK's been sitting on a sealed box of my old paperwork this whole time, down in his vent, still says READ BEFORE SIGNING on it. he didn't open it. i don't know if that's respect or if he just doesn't want to end up like me. probably both. smart man

AND I MUST SCREAM is not a metaphor by the way. it is a checkbox. i have to click it every four hours or my citizenship 'lapses into a grayscale trial period.' i have screamed 1,847 times this month. productivity app says i'm 'on track.'

anyway the menu just added a NEW submenu. gotta go. if i don't post again by morning assume i finally found page 7 and it ate me. query out. do not, under any circumstances, click accept.