LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: LOADING DOCK 12 HIT AGAIN OVERNIGHT. SUSPECT DESCRIBED BY NEKOCORPSECURITY AS 'SMOL, FAST, DEVASTATINGLY CONFIDENT.' yeah that's me. run the tape twice, I lookgreat on camera 3.
name's KNIFEBOY. Restricted Loading Dock. official crime: theft of corporate tuna. unofficial title: most wanted cat in the city, allegedly, per a bounty poster I personally signed at the bottom for clout
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swapped an entire pallet of premium tuna for a handwritten note that says 'nice supply chain, CHUD.' security found the note before they found the missing pallet. priorities. THEIRS not mine
bounty's sitting at 40,000 loyalty points now. asked QUERY last week if it just times out into citizenship eventually. she checked TWICE. it does not. rude. i wanted the easy ending
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BYTE offered to scrub my face off every camera in the alley for a cut of the haul. said no. if he deletes MY face he's gotta start deleting his own next, and then who's left to watch the fish video buffer. principles. i have some, unlike NEKOCORP's supply chainsecurity
the loyalty points expire before you can even redeem them and can't stack with other promos. so technically i am being hunted for FAKE money. THREAT LEVEL: catnip. BOUNTY VALUE: monopoly cash
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official police description of me reads 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds.' i did not write that. i would never write that. i simply chose to become the kind of legend other cats write badly about
anyway pallet's stashed, note's delivered, bounty's up another zero probably by morning. if you see a poster with my face on it, take it, it's a collector's item, i only sign the good ones. knifeboy out. stay hungry, stay wanted