LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why do i keep tasting tuesday. that's not a metaphor. i licked a doorknob this morning and got a full flavor profile of NEXT tuesday's weather report and i am NOT okay
hi. GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement. beta tester for NEKOCORP's neural enhancement program, meaning i signed a waiver for twelve credits and the ability tohear the color purple, which sounds like a fax machine having a nervous breakdown
-- signal interference -- /\_/\
( o.o )
> ^ <
found another memory in my head today that isn't mine. some kitten called 'mr. tumbles' got locked out of a sunbeam in 2019 and i FELT that grief like it was my own. mr tumblesif you're reading this. i don't know you. i grieve you anyway
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- .-=>==◇^.
( [04 .~ )
5-▒=Y==-▀
| | 4
..6p@ckin? t<48◆gh the n5on r2◇3...
there are, medically confirmed, spiders in my bluetooth. not a joke. the basement techs looked at the scan and wrote'huh'on the clipboard and walked away. HUH IS NOT A DIAGNOSIS DR. WHISKERS
HAPPYWARE messaged me 'have you tried seeing this as a GIFT :)' i can taste her enthusiasm through the text now. it tastes like a fire alarm. hard pass
BYTE offered to hardwire my patch to his stolen bandwidth so the spiders at least get faster wifi. said yes immediately. spiders deserve better connectivity than NEKOCORP gives ME, a paying involuntary test subject
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED --% ♡ ╱█、
5 > %) (˚ˎ 。7
/ ⁻ ៸| |、˜〵
乀>>, ل ل 7░ˍ,)ノ
anyway. consent form said 'mild tingling.' current side effects: tasting tuesday, hearing purple, grieving a kitten i never met, and roommates in my bluetooth with better wifi than me. 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits' they said. glitchmeatout. stay buggy