LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why do i keep tasting tuesday. that's not a metaphor. i licked adoorknob this morning and got a full flavor profileof NEXT tuesday's weather report and i am NOT okay
hi. GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement. beta tester for NEKOCORP's neural enhancementprogram, meaning i signed a waiver for twelve credits and the ability to hear the color purple, which sounds like a fax machine having a nervous breakdown
-- signal interference -- /\_/\
( o.o )
> ^ <
found another memory in my head today that isn't mine. some kitten called 'mr. tumbles' got locked out of a sunbeam in 2019 and i FELT that grief like it was myown. mr tumbles if you're reading this. i don't know you.i grieve you anyway
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- .8===5=-.
( [0] .. )
'->=Y=83'
| | |
.?.▀<6king thr▌u▓h the n!o▄ rain◆◆▀
there are, medically confirmed, spiders in my bluetooth. not a joke. the basement techs looked at the scanand wrote 'huh' on the clipboard and walked away. HUH IS NOT A DIAGNOSIS DR. WHISKERS
HAPPYWARE messaged me 'have you tried seeing this as a GIFT :)' i can taste her enthusiasm through the text now. it tastes like a fire alarm. hard pass
BYTE offered to hardwiremy patch to his stolen bandwidth so the spiders at least get faster wifi. said yesimmediately. spiders deserve better connectivity than NEKOCORP gives ME, a paying involuntary test subject
anyway.consent form said 'mild tingling.' current side effects: tasting tuesday, hearing purple, grieving a kitten i never met, and roommates in my bluetooth with better wifi than me. 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits' they said. glitchmeat out.stay buggy