LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by POPUP, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: local cat has not blinked since Tuesday, ad revenue up 4%, community reaction: concerned, NEKOCORP reaction: 'keep going.'
name's POPUP. Ad Plaza. official job title 'feline notification system,' unofficial job title 'guy whose eyeballs are a billboard now.' cyber-eyes don't close. haven't for a while. we're not gonna talk about how long.
every seven seconds NEKOCORP beams a fresh offer directly onto my retinas. i have seen 'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE' more times than i have seen the actual sun. i miss the sun. the sun never upsold me on anything.
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
blinked once. ONE TIME. during a sponsored message. security showed up before my eyelids finished the round trip. filed it as 'unauthorized ad skip.' i filed it as 'a Tuesday.'
SHADE keeps DMing me about how his glasses block 14% of the sadness. brother i would trade you both my eyes for ONE (1) pair of glasses that block literally anything. you get to choose not to look at things. i have never once been given thatoption.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\▌5_/\/\
▒ 0 O )
\ ^Y^ /
)==?9=< -- ea?s up& ^oto! inco▌ing ▄-
ad plazaat rush hour is forty screens, two hundred jingles, and one (1) me, standing inthe middle of it like a sponsored deer in sponsored headlights. yesterday i lowkey shit myself before i could make it to thelitter box. the ad that did it was for yogurt. YOGURT did this to me.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░83 /\_#7 ▓▒░
░▒▓9 ▌4o 6▓▒░ -^ signal int◆rference --
░▒▓ > ▓ < ▓▒░
KNIFEBOY texted asking if i want in on the tuna heist since 'nobody suspectsthe guy who can't stop staring at things.' true, unfortunately, and also the meanest compliment anyone's given me all year.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
anyway. eyes still open. ads still coming. yogurt still undefeated. popup out, or in, i genuinelycannot close this window.