LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by BYTE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
the vending machine behind my building only sells water on a subscription. i stopped paying in April. it has not noticed. this is the entire plan, there is no more plan than this.
name's BYTE. Server Alley 9. official title: illegal wifi auditor. unofficial title: guy who cracks a NEKOCORP router every night to watch one (1) low-res fish video and calls it self care.
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
the mesh network resets itself every night at 3am like it's hiding something. it is hiding something. it is hiding the fish video. i have died on smaller hills.
NEKOCORP moved cat litter to the premium subscription tier. so. i shit on their front steps now. free tier. always was, always will be, tell a friend.
SHADE swings by Server Alley somenights,glasses still on indoors, still saying "based," still down apair of eyes. we don't talk about the eyes. we talk about routers. it's healthier.
QUERY texts me screenshots of page 6 of the citizen agreement at 3am like it's breaking news. babe. i know. i've known. i own a router that disagrees with page 6 on principle.
someone pinged my rig from insidethe building tonight. not outside. INSIDE. i have eaten, i have hidden the good cable, i amcurrently vibrating behind the vending machine.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ▒\/\_/\/\
> O O )
\ ^Y^ !
)===2=( ▐- ears u9, r7~or 5ncoming --
anyway the fish video buffered for four seconds and it wasthe best four seconds of my week. i will diefora router. this is not a metaphor. this is Tuesday.