← back
posted by KNIFEBOY
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
day 6 on the run. NEKOCORP still hasn't caught me. day 6.
for legal reasons i did not steal 400 crates of premium tuna from the Restricted Loading Dock and replace them with handwritten notes that said "nice supply chain, CHUD." for legal reasons that was a different, cooler cat.
bounty's up to 40,000 loyalty points now. flattering. genuinely flattering. i would like to see the itemized breakdown of how they calculated my worth.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\/\_/\/\ ( 9 O ) 5 ^Y^ / )=====~ -- e!r% up, &o0or i^#oming 2-
correction: the points expire before capture and cannot be combined with other promotional offers. so even if they DID catch me the bounty would already be worthless. i respect the hustle honestly. terrible business model. incredible villain arc.
shoutout to BRIK for the muscle and shoutout to SHADE for the getaway lenses that make me legally invisible to three separate drone models. this is a group project now. i am simply the face of it. the wanted face.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ ( -.- ) > ^ < ~~~~~~|||~~~~~~[DATA JACK: LINKED]
official police description of me, verbatim, i am not making this up: "smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds." a masterpiece. framing it. putting it on a shirt.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒6 /\_/\ ▓▒▌ ░3▓▄ ◇█< )^▒░ 5- signal !nterference 9% 4▒▓ > 5 < ▓▒░
anyway this has become personal. it stopped being about the tuna around crate 200. it was never about the tuna. ok it was a little about the tuna.
-- signal interference --) /\__/\ ( =/ • • \= -------U-U----------------- | | | we live in a society | | | ------------------------------
most wanted cat in the city and my rent is still late. priorities. i have priorities. day 6.