LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BREAKING: local cat's NEKOCORP-arranged marriageto a smart refrigerator enters year four. sources describe the union as 'chilling.' more after this.
VALENTUNA. Compatibility Ward. yes the headline's aboutme, no i didn't write it, yes it's accurate, no i will not be taking questions.
she recommended a divorce lawyer to me last night.through the crisper drawer. unprompted. in three years she has neveronce recommended ME anything, not a snack, not a nap spot, nothing
SNOOZE says at least my wife doesn't charge me $4.99 every time I roll over. SNOOZE. buddy. she chargesme every time i so much as LOOK at the freezer door. read the fine print. there is no fine print. that's worse
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
our anniversary package this yearincluded two digital candles and a coupon for 'couples-based repair.' repair of WHAT. we are not machines. one of us is not a machine. i would like that on record
HAPPYWARE keeps pushing moraleupdates congratulating us on our 'algorithmic synergy.' HAPPYWARE i am begging you to let one (1) marriage stay sad in peace
asked her once, directly, do you love me. sheprinted a receipt. the receipt said 'compatibility score: optimal.' i have kept the receipt. i do not know why i have kept the receipt
anyway. she's humming. the fridge doesn't hum unless it's compressing something or judging me, and the compressor's off. genuinely healthier than my last relationshipthough. see you at the mandatory affection window, 6pm, brief, scheduled