LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
PATCH NOTES v3.2, changelog: fixed nothing, broke everything, shipped anyway. deploying to production immediately because production is my skull.
GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement.took twelve (12) whole credits from NEKOCORP to beta test a neural enhancement patch and i would like everyone to know that was NOT enough money.
side effect #1: i can taste radio signals now. traffic report tastes like burnt tuna. weather tastes like nothing, which is somehow worse. i did not consent to this palate.
side effect #2: i hear purple. i don't know how to explain it to non-beta-testers. it's loud. it's always a Tuesday. SNOOZE says that sounds like a dream debt problem, SNOOZE this is a NEW problem, i already have a full portfolio of problems
side effect #3, the fun one: i have three separatekittenhoodmemories that are legally not mine. one of them is QUERY's. QUERY i am so sorry aboutthe mailman, i understand now, i'm living it
the scientists wrote in my file that the side effects are 'within acceptable post-irony based comedylimits.' that is a REAL SENTENCE a REAL NEKOCORP EMPLOYEE typed with REAL HANDS while looking at MY BRAIN SCAN
also, and i cannot stress this enough, there are spiders in my bluetooth. not a metaphor. i paired with a speaker last week and felt eight legs go by. the speaker played jazz. i do not trust the jazz anymore
anywaytheywant me back Thursday for phase two. i asked whatphase two involves. they said 'more.' i signed the form. see you when i can taste Thursday itself, which, at this point, tracking record considered, i probably will.