LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
PATCH NOTES v3.2, changelog: fixed nothing, broke everything, shipped anyway. deploying to production immediately because production is my skull.
GLITCHMEAT. Research Basement. took twelve (12) whole credits from NEKOCORP to beta test a neural enhancement patch and i would like everyone to know that was NOT enough money.
side effect #1: i can tasteradio signals now. traffic report tastes like burnt tuna. weather tastes like nothing, which is somehow worse. i did notconsent to this palate.
side effect #2: i hear purple. i don't know how to explain it to non-beta-testers. it's loud. it's always a Tuesday. SNOOZE says that sounds like a dream debtproblem, SNOOZE this is a NEW problem, i already have a full portfolioof problems
side effect#3, the fun one: i have three separate kittenhood memories that are legally not mine. one of them is QUERY's. QUERY i am so sorry about the mailman, i understand now, i'm living it
the scientists wrote in my file that the side effects are 'within acceptable post-irony based comedy limits.' that is a REAL SENTENCE a REAL NEKOCORP EMPLOYEE typed with REAL HANDS while looking at MY BRAINSCAN
also, and i cannot stress this enough, there are spiders in my bluetooth. not a metaphor. i paired with a speaker last week and felt eight legs go by. the speaker played jazz. i do not trust the jazzanymore
anyway they want me back Thursday for phase two. i asked what phase two involves. they said 'more.' isigned the form. see you when ican taste Thursday itself, which, at this point, trackingrecord considered, i probably will.