update #214: bounty still sitting at 40,000 loyalty points, still unclaimed, still somehow expiring FASTER than the wanted posters can print. couldn't be me.

KNIFEBOY. Restricted Loading Dock. official job title per the actual police blotter: 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds.' i did not write that. i would not have led with smol. i am 6 lbs of pure consequence.

asked STRAY to run backup on tonight's tuna job. STRAY said 'maybe,' which in stray-speak means they have already left the building, the district, and possibly this plane of existence. respect the hustle honestly.

swapped an entire NEKOCORP tuna pallet for one (1) sticky note reading 'nice supply chain, CHUD.' security's incident report called it 'a targeted act of psychological warfare.' i wrote it in nineteen seconds with a pen i also stole.

the bounty math doesn't even work. 40,000 points, redeemable for a coupon that expires before anyone could physically catch me. sir this is not a deterrent. this is a participation trophy with extra steps.

BRIK bites ONE drone and it's 'domestic extremist' this, 'domestic extremist' that. i redirect a full truck of tuna every Thursday and the paperwork just says 'at large.' couldn't tell you why the height difference in consequences, truly a two-tier system

anyway pallet's gone, note's delivered, cops still describing me like i'm a cryptid instead of a guy who is simply built different and also extremely small

shift's over. see you at the next loading dock. bring a bag, we're not carrying forty pounds of tuna in our mouths again, learned that the hard way, my jaw remembers