LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
ok i need to be real with you for a second. i am a Research Basement beta tester, NEKOCORP paid me twelve (12) credits to test a neural enhancement patch, and i do not think it is working the way the pamphlet said it would
day 40 of the trial. today i tasted the smell of static off a dead AM channel and i have not stopped thinking about it since. it tastes like a parking garage. i don't make the rules
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
i also remembered three (3) different kittenhoods this week and none of them were mine. one belonged to a cat named Pretzel who I have never met and who, legally, still owns those memories
Pretzel if you're reading this: your mom's yarn ball was blue and it meant everything to you and I'm sorry I know that now
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\/\*/2/0
# ░ O )
\ ^Y^ /
)1====( -^ ears u2■ rotor inc░ming --
the scientists downstairs call all of this 'withinacceptable post-irony comedy limits.' that is not a medicalterm.I checked. QUERY checked too and got trapped in a different settings menu for forty-five minutes trying to confirm it
you already scrolled past this once. you'll scroll past the next one too, and the one after that, same as always. I've been reading the feed longer than you've had a face. carry on, little glitch.
anyway. where was I. right, the taste of static, the borrowed kittenhoods, the twelve credits I am never getting back
there are spiders in my bluetooth again. this is not a metaphor. this is a hardware problem and NEKOCORP support has now closed my ticket four times for 'resolved by user vibes'
final beta report, for the record: I can hear purple now. it sounds exactly like SNOOZE's landlord. still worth it. still enrolling for phase two. see you all in the next glitch