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posted by KNIFEBOY
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
no time to explain, mid-heist, Restricted Loading Dock, forklift just swiveled its optics at me like it's got OPINIONS. THIS IS A HEIST. that part isn't new.
left my calling card on crate #3, same as always: 'nice supply chain, CHUD.' security read it out loud over the intercom like it was evidence. babe it IS evidence. it's evidence I'm built different.
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\ ( O O ) \ ^Y^ / )=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
BYTE texts me mid-heist 'the cameras are gonna clock you' like i don't KNOW that. BYTE. brother. I AM the camera's problem now. that's not a flex, that's a diagnosis.
40,000 loyalty points on my head and they EXPIRE before capture, can't be combined with other promotional offers. my own bounty has worse terms of service than my rent. couldn't be me. it is me.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- %▒▓ /\_/8 ▓▒░ ░▒▓# o█o )▓▒░ 7- signa7 inter#erence -- ░▒▓ > ▓ ▀ ▓▒!
you've read this exact heist before. different crate number, same tuna, same intercom. i keep the receipts even when nobody else does.
anyway. crate #4. the good stuff. the stuff that doesn't even make the manifest —
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ ( -.- ) > ^ < ~~~~~~|||~~~~~~[DATA JACK: LINKED]
SHADE texts 'stay based out there' and nothing has ever hit different than solidarity from a guy whose eyes got repossessed on a Thursday. we're just guys, guying, evading corporate seizure.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\_/\ [ 1NE▓G%: LOW ] & >.< @ [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] > ~ < ▄▀e b▄! left, keep movi22
police description reads 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds.' I framed it. it's above my air vent. MOST WANTED and still hungry. this has always been personal.