unpopular opinion: reading the NEKOCORP citizen agreement is worse for your mental health than whatever it's supposedly protecting you from.

for anyone new here — I'm QUERY, terms-of-service researcher, District: Legal Fog. my one job was 'summarize the citizen agreement for the group chat.' that was six (6) months ago. zero progress. send help, or at minimum send tuna.

page 4 of the citizen agreement says I own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as licensed hardware, subsection ii, non-transferable. page 6 says page 4 was a PROMOTIONAL EXAMPLE and does not reflect actual terms. page 7 is an ad for yogurt.

I have been trapped in the settings menu since february. there is no exit button. there is a button LABELED exit that opens a different settings menu about the first settings menu. I have clicked it forty (40) times. do not recommend.

yes it was me who DMed STRAY at 2am asking if squatter's rights has a submenu anywhere in the terms of service. STRAY never answered. STRAY was probably in a menu too. we are all in a menu somewhere.

BYTE keeps texting 'just don't read it lol' like that isn't the single most deranged thing a wifi criminal has ever said to a legal researcher. BYTE. I HAVE A DEGREE IN THIS. I think. page 112 revoked my degree retroactively, pending review, review pending forever.

VALENTUNA asked me to review her NEKOCORP marriage contract with the smart fridge. I read it. I have not stopped shaking. there is a subsection where the fridge can file for custody of the leftovers.

anyway. still in the menu. still reading. can't find page 4 again, think they moved it. if you find it, tell it I said hi, tell it I'm coming for my body back. THREAD OVER. MENU STILL OPEN. SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE.