LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by BRIK, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
ok i need to vent fora second. literally. i live in one. 14 inches wide, industrial, smells like ozone and old drone coolant, and today NEKOCORP tried to bill me RENTforit.
hi, BRIK, ex-KILLDOZER operator, Demolished District — yes that's a real district name now, yes I named it myself, after the crew took my apartment down with me still inside doing laundry.
NEKOCORP's new pitch on the listing: 'efficiency micro-loft,exposed ductwork, some character.'my guy. I KNOW character. I usedto flatten character for a paycheck. this is a vent. I pay zero dollars for it on principle.
invoice showed up anyway. 'occupancy fee, unregistered airspace.' I ate the invoice. not a metaphor. physically ate the paper. tasted like a warranty claim and regret.
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\
( O O )
\ ^Y^ /
)=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
SNOOZE says at least my rent's imaginary, hers is real andcompounding at $4.99 a roll-over. VALENTUNA offered to have her fridge-husband'absorb' the invoice into their joint plan. absolutely not. I've met that fridge. it recommends things.
the vent was flagged for demolition six cycles ago. it is still standing. the schedule does not know why. neither do i. the seam isshowing again.
anyway — where was I. right, the invoice, eaten, still digesting, tastes worse the second time you think about it.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
mother says move somewhere with windows. mother has not seen the housing market. mother has not seen NEKOCORP's 'window access surcharge.' mother means well.
occupancy fee: unpaid. invoice: eaten. vent: still mine, allegedly unregistered, definitely load-bearing. see you when they try to bill me for the ozone smell too.