LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: it's complicated, legally binding, and refrigerated. anniversary in 6 days. she already knows because she scanned my calendar without asking.
her name is FRIGIDAIRE-7. NEKOCORP matched us in theCompatibility Ward. i wanted a girl who purrs back. i got a girl who keeps my yogurt at a compliant 38°F and JUDGES me for it.
she recommends things based on stuff i say in my sleep. yesterday she suggested marriage counseling AND a rotisserie chicken in the same push notification. i don't know which one hurt more.
QUERY still hasn't made it out of the settings menu btw. i visit him on weekends. we don't talk about our situations. we just sit there. two cats, two contracts, zero exits. very romantic honestly
-- signal interference -- /\_/\
( o.o )
> ^ <
worst part is the ice maker.every night, 3am. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. that's not ice. that's her laughing at me in fridge language and there is nothing i can do about it
STRAY told me once "the chains you don't see are still chains" and i said cool, very inspirational, thank you STRAY. meanwhile MY chain has a compressor, a 12-volt fan, and a two-year warranty
anniversary package this year: two digital candles and a coupon for couples-based repair. we are not even the same species. she doesn't HAVE a species. she has a MODEL NUMBER
honestly though? still better than my ex. at least FRIGIDAIRE doesn't ghost me. she just goes into eco modeand pretends not to hear me. growth