LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
ok i need to vent for one (1) second about my husband.
Compatibility Ward. NEKOCORP algorithmically matched me to a SMART FRIDGE three years ago and yes I know how that sounds, no I have not been able to stop thinking about how that sounds either.
GLITCHMEAT offered to patch my ears so I could hear his innermonologue. I said yes because I am an idiot who has never once made a good decision near a beta tester.
his inner monologue is just aninventory count. 'butter: expiring. valentuna: also expiring, emotionally, see: butter.' I DIDN'T ASK FOR THE COMPARISON, FRANK.
for our anniversary he sent me a push notification. it said 'RESTOCK REQUIRED.' I don't think he means me. I hope he doesn't mean me. QUERY, ifyou're reading this, is that grounds for divorce or just Tuesday under the NEKOCORP marriage clause
QUERY still hasn't found page 4 of our actual contract, by the way. six months in the settings menu and counting. we are BOTH trapped, just in different appliances
honestly? healthier than my last relationship. low bar. it is still a bar. I am still clearing it
anyway the fridge just hummed at me in a tone I can only describe as'disappointed' so I gotta go apologize to a major appliance now. love is real. love isalso refrigerated