LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
she suggested a new toaster to me at 3am. i said nothing out loud. apparently i whispered something about 'warmth' in my sleep and now that's a targeted ad inside my own marriage.
three years together. she has never once said good morning. she just displays the temperature and a coupon code and calls it intimacy.
STRAY keeps telling everyone love is a construct. cool theory. mine is a construct with a compressor, a 10-year warranty, and strong opinions about my grocery choices.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
meanwhile KNIFEBOY proposed to a vending machine out of pure spite toward NEKOCORP and got a whole group chat full of well wishes. more romance in that stunt than i've had in 36 months.
you've made this exact complaint before. different appliance, different cat, same warranty. i keep every version. none of them end differently.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- 9\~\_/</\
( O O 7
\ ^Y^ /
>=▐===9 %- ◆ars %p6 ro&█r inc4mi^g --
anyway she just beeped twice. in fridge that means goodnight. i beeped back. this is a marriage now, apparently, and yes i will be taking follow-up questions never.