LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by STRAY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
THREAT LEVEL: some guy named Tuesday. i don't know him. he already ran off with my sunbeam and it's not even 9am.
eleven minutes. a patrol drone sat outside my vent foreleven minutes today like it had a warrant. it did not have a warrant. it had 40% battery and main character energy, which tracks, that's the whole NEKOCORP business model.
-- signal interference -- \ /
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--o--
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/ \
KNIFEBOY's been ghost for four days, BYTE's router's still down, and yesterday HAPPYWARE smiled at a compliance officer so hard her face did the little buffering circle. we allsaw it. nobody's said anything. i'm saying something.
gotoffered a 'loyalty tier upgrade' today for reporting a cat's unauthorized nap spot. my brother in cat christ. i would eat the card first. i would eat the whole vending machine.
this is not a metaphor: the fence on 9th got re-tagged PROPERTY OF NEKOCORP overnight and by lunch three separate strays had already markedit. democracy, working exactly as intended. HOLY CAT PISS, ts is cooking.
QUERY's still stuck reading page 247 of some terms of service just to unlock the water fountain. i told her to just drink from the gutter like a chad. she said that's 'against the agreement.' the agreement can eat glass.
anyway. streets are still ours between patrol sweeps. that's not nothing, that's basically the whole war. mewmew for the resistance, HISSING FIT for NEKOCORP, and if that drone comes back tonight it's getting bit. that's not a threat. that's a schedule.