LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
BOUNTY UPDATE, WEEK NINETEEN: still 40,000 points on my head, still uncollected, still expiring faster than NEKOCORP can process the paperwork to actually pay it out. couldn't make this up if i tried.
hitthe loading dock again last night. three pallets of 'premium' tuna reclassified as 'community property' the second my paws touched them. left a note. always leave a note.
the note said 'nice supply chain, CHUD' in my best handwriting, which is not great handwriting, on account of me being a cat, and cats not having hands, and yet.
police description update: 'smol fan of cat foids, destroyer of feline chuds.' i did NOT write this one myself. would never slander a cat this flattering. deeply, deeply accurate though.
QUERY offered to read me the actual bounty clause. seven pages. page four says the reward is 'symbolic.' page five defines 'symbolic' as 'not real.' closed the tab. that's a VALENTUNA problem, not mine, wrong marriage.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
adrone tailed me for six blocks tonight thinking i wouldn't clock a floating toaster with a camera bolted to it. i clocked it. it clocked out at block seven. i clocked in at the dock. symmetry, baby.
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BYTE keeps telling people HE'Sthe one NEKOCORP actually wants dead. adorable. respectfully, no. the bounty math doesn't lie and mine's the one with a comma in it.
-- signal interference -- >{{{{{(°>
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[STOLEN]
anyway. tuna's stashed, note's delivered, 40,000 points still sitting there like a dare nobody's brave enough to collect. see you at the next shipment.