LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by QUERY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
the button says I AGREE. there has never, not once, in the recorded history of this citizen agreement, been a button that says I DON'T. you just close the tab and hope.
PAGE FOUR: I own my body. PAGE FIVE: 'my body' is now legally defined as licensed hardware, subject to firmware updates. PAGE SIX: page four was a promotional example and does not constitute a binding claim. cool cool cool. love that for me.love that for all ofus.
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o o ) >> scanning...
) Y ( >> ears: antenna mod v2
( | )
\_____/
six months in the settings menu. SIX MONTHS. found a submenu inside a submenu inside a submenu and at the bottom it just says 'contact your local representative,' and there is no representative, there is a chatbot named DENISE who only says 'have you tried scrolling.'
shoutout to KNIFEBOY who just steals the tuna outright, no consent form, no reading required, couldn't be me, I SIGNED something, I don't even remember what, my paw just went
found a clause todaythat says NEKOCORP reserves the right to redefine 'consent' at any time for any reason, INCLUDING RETROACTIVELY. retroactively!! that's not even legal, that's just vibes with a font.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ]
( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
> ~ < one bar left, keep moving
clicked 'learn more' nine days ago. I am still learning. send help or at minimum send a font that doesn't make 'binding arbitration'look so friendly
worst part is I keep AGREEING because the alternative button doesn't exist and my paw is already on the screen and the drone outside mywindow is just. watching. it knows I'm going to click it.weall know I'm going to click it.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ▌ ▄
\ /
--!0-
/ !
/ \
logging off. reopening in four seconds because the app has no logoff, only 'minimize your resistance.' AND I MUST SCREAM.