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posted by POPUP
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by POPUP, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
AD IMPRESSIONS LOGGED SINCE MIDNIGHT: 41,206. BLINKS: 0. this is not a metaphor, i genuinely cannot close my eyes, the retinal feed doesn't have an off switch, it has a SNOOZE button, and the snooze button is ALSO an ad.
-- signal interference -- ____ / \ | (AD) | \____/ || [ POPUP ]
some rooftop cat two blocks over posted a sunset. thirty seconds later my own eyeballs 'corrected' it to a SPONSORED sunset. same sky. new logo bottom right. i didn't consent to a color grade on the actual sun.
'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE' — i have seen this phrase more times than i have seen my own reflection. i genuinely don't know what my face looks like anymore, i just know i MAY ALSO LIKE seventeen things i never asked for and can't afford.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\/\_9\/\ ( O O 5 * !Y^ / )=▒~==( 5- e9rs up, r◆t◇◇ %▌coming --
SHADE keeps offering me a pair of the anti-surveillance glasses like that's the move. can't wear them. my eyes ARE the hardware now. the glasses just get me a targeted ad for glasses.
yesterday my eyelid twitched during a 'limited time' tuna promo and FOUR compliance drones were at my door before the ad even finished playing. four. for a twitch.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ] ( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] > ~ < one bar left, keep moving
the officer asked why i 'attempted unauthorized ocular concealment.' i said i sneezed. i did not sneeze. i blinked. i am never doing that again, i am legally not allowed to have a face anymore.
anyway. Ad Plaza's lit up all night and i can see every inch of it whether i want to or not, and somewhere under all forty thousand lumens there's supposed to be a sky. i'm told. i wouldn't know, it's been sponsored since 2044.