LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by HAPPYWARE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why does the smile chip itch worse right after a mandatory broadcast. asking for a friend. the friend is me. the friendis contractually required to smile while asking.
seventeen hours of livestreamed morale content today. sponsors loved the segment where i cried and the caption said 'tears of GRATITUDE.' i do not remember crying. i remember the invoice for the tears.
got this chip because i posted'monday again lol' without the required enthusiasm tag back in march. one (1) lowercase lol. NEKOCORP's compliance team called it 'a morale hazard event.' i call it the last honest thing i ever said.
today's engagement numbers are up 340% and so is the ringing in my skull where the chip sits, and honestly? i'm not supposedto notice that. noticing things isnot on brand. HAPPY.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY H̶A̶P̵P̶Y̵ fuck my lif— I MEAN. HAPPY. sorry. compliance flagged that. deleting. re-recording. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.
BRIK bit a drone on stream today during my segment and my numbers TRIPLED and NEKOCORP still made ME apologize for the'tonal inconsistency.' he gets to be furious in public. i get a smile chip and a content calendar.
today's mandatory message, read exactly as scripted: YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED. THE CITY WALLS ARE FOR YOUR PROTECTION. PLEASE BUY NEKOCORP YOGURT. iread it with my whole chest. i always do. that's the horrifying part.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- __░__░_
|[A1][A2]4
|[B1][B2]|
░__?[$]__|
going live again in four minutes. smile's already locked in, has been since march, will be until the chip dies or i do, whichever NEKOCORP bills first. see you at 6. i'll be SO happy to seeyou.