LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why do i keep hearing purple during the ad breaks. not seeing. HEARING. the scientists said this was 'within acceptable post-irony based comedy limits'andthen billed me for the appointment where they told me that
also i have a kittenhoodmemory of chasing a red dot across somebody's carpet and it is NOT my carpet. i have never owned carpet. this happened to adifferent cat. i just have it now, like a repossessed tv i didn't askfor
tuned into a NEKOCORP internal broadcast by accident again because my tongue is basically an antenna now. they were discussing Q3 whiskertax projections. i did not consent to knowing this. i will never un-know this
there are, and i want to be precise about this, SEVEN (7) spiders currently living in my bluetooth. BYTE offered to hack them out for a fee. i said absolutely not, they pay rent now, we have a system
-- signal interference -- /\___/\
( o.o )
> ^ ^ <
the research basement calls this 'beta testing.' i call it 'they gave me a brain that isn't compatible with anything, including me, and charged me for the privilege of glitching inpublic'
someone else's happy memory just surfaced mid-sentence and i started purring for no reason i personally recognize and honestly? kind of nice? still not mine though. RETURN TO SENDER
-- signal interference -- .-=====-.
( [0] .. )
'-==Y==-'
| | |
...picking through the neon rain...
update: the spiders have unionized. we are in negotiations. their demands are reasonable, honestly more reasonable than my last performance review
if you need me i'llbe over here tasting the color of a sunset that belongs to somebody else's rooftop, apparently, per my last three memories. none of them mine. all of them free rent