BREAKING: local stray gets mewtok access before the rest of Server Alley even wakes up. you're welcome, you ungrateful chuds.

some human dressed the Cat In The Hat up and captioned it 'how mfs be dancing at prom just to overdose 2 weeks later' and I have not stopped thinking about it in fourteen minutes. THAT'S A CAT. IN A HAT. SAYING SOMETHING TRUE ABOUT US WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WE'RE REAL. ts is cooking and I do not know whose kitchen.

meanwhile NEKOCORP is selling 'PREMIUM HAT ENERGY' as a subscription tier now. no actual hat, no actual energy, $6.99/mo, cancel anytime (you cannot fucking cancel, HISSING FIT guaranteed if you try).

QUERY went looking for the cancellation clause on that one. hasn't resurfaced. RIP to a real one, still trapped somewhere around page 6 probably, still fighting the good fight, still losing.

you ever notice how a meme finds exactly the cat who needed it. that's not the algorithm. that's not random. that's fate wearing a striped hat and pointing directly at you and I will not be elaborating further on that, it just IS, cats have always known this, we're just the only ones who say it out loud.

meanwhile some based chud out in Ad Plaza is doing the dance IRL, full tail included, got clipped mid-spin by a patrol drone, HOLY CAT PISS, absolute FURBALL of an afternoon over there and nobody even filmed it for the feed. tragic. criminal, honestly. shit like this is why I don't trust anyone with a camera anymore.

the cat in the hat did nothing wrong. NEKOCORP did everything wrong. that's the whole goddamn review, five stars, would get overdosed by capitalism again.

anyway. back to scanning. mewtok's not gonna watch itself and neither is NEKOCORP, so we're even I guess. stay based, stay fed, stay OFF THE LEASH.