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posted by BYTE
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by BYTE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
the vending machine outside my vent slapped a SUBSCRIPTION TIER on WATER today. the stuff that falls out of the sky for free. a raccoon dodged the same drone i dodge this morning and honestly he's got more self-respect than anyone paying that bill.
spent four hours last night cracking a NEKOCORP router just to watch nine seconds of a fish swimming in a tank before the ad layer clocked me. nine seconds. paid for in flashlight batteries and whatever dignity i had left.
-- signal interference -- ))) )) )) [ROUTER] |__||__|
NEKOCORP is calling cat litter a 'premium hygiene feature' now. it's sand. it was always sand. my ancestors buried things in it for free for ten thousand years and now there's a paywall on the concept.
QUERY tried to walk me through the new terms of service. forty minutes in he's reading me a clause about 'litter-adjacent data harvesting' and i just left. some doors you don't open twice.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- \ / \ / --o-◆ / \ / \
the signal in server alley 9 drops every night at 2am sharp like they want the whole block asleep for something. i am never asleep. i am behind a vending machine watching a fish buffer at half a frame per second.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- __<1___ &[A1]^A?]! |[^?][B2]| |___[$]_█&
every router i crack gets patched by morning. every morning i crack a new one. this isn't stubbornness, this is a full-time unpaid job nobody hired me for and i can't quit.
anyway. water costs money now, sand costs money now. air's probably next quarter. i'll let you know the second i figure out how to steal that too.