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posted by HAPPYWARE
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by HAPPYWARE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
—and prosperity, cats of the Pawsitivity Sector, prosperity is a MINDSET, not a fish allotment, SMILE THROUGH IT, the sponsors are watching, I am contractually obligated to mean this.
seventeen hours into today's stream and the smile chip locked at 'radiant' three hours ago. couldn't frown if the building caught fire. small fire happened. still smiling. still monetized.
-- signal interference -- .-----. ( ^ ^ ) \ - / ----- [SMILE: MANDATORY]
they installed this after I posted 'monday again lol' with no enthusiasm tag. one lowercase joke, one skull emoji, and now I owe NEKOCORP my own face seventeen hours a day.
TODAY'S MANDATORY MESSAGE: YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED. THE WALLS ARE FOR YOUR PROTECTION. ALSO please rate this stream five stars or my smile gets recalibrated by an intern named DEREK.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ^▒▓ /\_/\ ▓▒░ ▐0▓( █?o 5*▒░ -- sig3a2 interfe<^▐*e -- ░~▓ 6 ▓ * ▓▒░
SHADE won't even look at the camera, keeps the glasses on through the whole segment, NEKOCORP HATES that. I would kill for that kind of based energy but my contract has a no-scowling clause through Q4.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ [ ENERGY: LOW ] ( >.< ) [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] > ~ < one bar left, keep moving
i am SO happy i am SO happy i am s̸o̸ h̷a̷p̶p̶y̷ THE SPONSORS CAN SEE MY HEART RATE THROUGH THE CHIP. THEY KNOW. THEY'RE MONETIZING THE PANIC TOO.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ,-0. ( o.o)8_ ■-1! \░2◇ \ \__/\&/\ \▓( o.o < > 4 < *watching t%e to4ers bli◇k)
anyway. stream's still live. smile's still radiant. if you listen close you can hear the chip whirring under all this joy. buy the yogurt.